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Transformed

I'm procrastinating. There's VBS materials piled to the ceiling, and t-shirts covering the floor. Jamie and I go with 26 others to the village of Yobain in Mexico tomorrow. It's the same trip Jamie's taken the last few years, and this year we have the opportunity to go together, thanks to my sister Leah and brother-in-law, Ben. This summer we've been serving as semi-interim youth leaders for the senior high as we've been in transition. Our current community is teenagers, and God is using them to change our lives. I was listening to something this morning, and was reminded that there is no third option...in this world we will either be conformed or transformed. As we've watched heartache and brokenness in numerous areas of our lives over the last couple of years, we've realized it's not the monumental decisions that dominantly make the difference, though they contribute. It's a daily, moment by moment commitment to a lifestyle of life-to-life ministry that changes lives for the kingdom. But more essentially, these small choices remind Jamie and me of our nothingness before God, his ultimate holiness, and leave us desperate at the cross. Our hearts have been stirring since about this time last year. There's been a nagging aching that's only grown, and it's beautiful, because I'm consistently aware that I was not made for this world. Though my body and ministry are here, my heart and soul are to be of another world. So I'm learning to pray that I will never be "happy" here, but that I will continually be formed, and from where I sit, that hurts. Pray for us to have teachable hearts in Mexico, pray for the transition of leadership, pray that God would shake us, make us uncomfortable, and changed. Thank you for supporting us financially and in prayer. Love you.

Catie

Eight Years

I hate the phrase "Time Flies." It's so cliche, and I hate even more that it's true. 

I remember moments of today, eight years ago. I remember Rachel smiling at me, Holley Johnson coming in first. I remember Jessica squeezing my hand, my dad's tears, Billy's face...I remember Jamie stroking the top of my hand, and that's about all, until I called my sister crying that night, saying I could come home.

Sometime I become frustrated not being able to remember those moments, and then I look around - and listen. My life today is nothing like I would have described on my wedding day. I'm so glad. Through my marriage I've discovered I'm so much more of a sinner than I could have ever imagined. I've learned I'm going to fail, most of the time before Jamie leaves the house in the morning. Most dinners are burned, so I've resorted to a variation of turkey sandwiches. I've resigned myself to the fact that if we are all alive when Jamie comes home, it's much better than the house being clean. I've found the cross is bigger than I could have ever dreamed, and I've tasted what is really means to boldly and desperately enter the throne of grace.

I'm grateful. I'm grateful that Jamie sings hymns at the top of his lungs. I'm grateful that he thinks before he speaks. I'm grateful he refuses to let me lead, yet refuses to let me retreat. I'm grateful he vacuums, does laundry, and provides for us. But I'm in love with the ways he longs to show his sons Jesus in every aspect of life. I love how he dies to himself daily on my behalf. I love how he's established a purpose for us to be missionaries here, now, and has determined that we will never "settle down." I  love that we have wonderful fights, because it shows me that Christ truly has victory over sin. But I'm broken that when he looks at me, he sees all I am and could be with the fullness of Christ, and he doesn't allow me to compromise for anything less.

I am the most blessed woman in the world.

I Love Being a Mommy Because...

1. Caleb cried when I read Aslan died last night. "Mommy, you have to read one more page. I know this can't be the end."

2. It's a gift, not a right.

3. I'm wiping the bottoms of those who will wipe my grandchildren.

4. Daniel falls asleep on my shoulder every time I sing "Come Thou Fount."

5. Benjamin sings me every word of "Come Thou Fount."

6. Children are precious to God.

7. Caleb looks to be sure I'm watching before he hits baseballs.

8. Benjamin tells me he has an very important secret before he give me the weeds he picked for me.

9. I've had a very few moments when I've experienced it could all be gone in a second.

10. I have enough stories to write for a lifetime.

10. I get to watch my children wrestle with my husband.

11. Caleb held my hand as I wept for a friend and said, "It's okay. I'm here, Mommy."

12. Benjamin loves beauty.

13. Daniel stomps his foot if I try to put him to bed before reading.

14. They dance and flip when we sing hymns at night.

15. Caleb reminded me that, "Daddy and you promised to always live together, and to love each other even when you don't really like each other."

16. I've learned more about Star Wars than I wouldn't have known in a lifetime of my former life.

17. Nothing in my life has gone like I've planned.

18. No day goes like I plan.

19. I'm desperate for others to speak truth into my life.

20. I've become an introvert.

21. I'm alone, watching Veggietales, and singing every song by heart.

22. Preschoolers cheer for me when I memorize scripture with them.

23. Caleb tells me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world.

24. Daniel holds out his hand to hold mine.

25. Benjamin combines Star Wars and the story of Jesus for his action figures to act out.

26. I'm on my knees.

27. I'm learning there's so much about myself I don't know...and there's so much about my God - more than I could ever dream of knowing.

28. My TV time alone is Curious George.

29. I get to celebrate every first of my children's lives.

30. I can believe, hope, and pray my children will be used to transform the world for the gospel.

31. I've been given more than I could hope to do on my own.

32. I get to ask for forgiveness every single day, and that's a minimum.

33. I hear my children pray for my friends by name.

34. They tell me they don't want to go to heaven until they know I'll be there too.

35. I get to show them the world for this short time.

36. They say every day they're thankful for me.

37. They have an amazing Daddy.

38. I get to read and cuddle with them.

39. Benjamin's mouth has the most precious shape I've ever seen.

40. They celebrate me.

41. I get to do 5 loads of laundry a day.

42. By the grace of God, they see Jesus in me.

43. I'm their home.

44. They say they love me before they are out of bed in the morning.

45. I get to witness the daily gag on vegetables.

46. I get to discover life and the world all over again.

47. The gospel is transforming my life.

48. I inspect daily inventions.

49. I taste-test worm, mud pies.

50. They aren't mine. I'm loving them to let them go, and that stops my breath.

Good Friday Family Devotional

The Crucifixion

Read Matthew 27: 27-50

Jesus knew what was happening. He knew it wasn't going to be easy. He knew that our freedom from sin and death would cost His life.

After Pilate, the governor, gave Jesus over to be crucified, the soldiers took Jesus and beat Him They made fun of Him. Only a few days earlier, the people had cheered because they wanted Jesus to be their king. Now they watched while the soldiers put a robe on Him and pushed a crown of thorns into His head. They watched Him bleed and saw His hurts. They put a sign at the top of His cross. It read, "This is Jesus, the King of the Jews." They made fun of His power and told HIm to save Himself.

Then, in the darkest hour, Jesus cried out to His Father. He had cried out to His Father many, many times before. But this time was different. He asked His Father why He had left Him alone. But Jesus also knew that this darkness would bring light. He knew His pain would bring freedom. He knew His death would give you life.

Together:

• Have you ever felt forsaken or along? What was it like?
  
• The people made fun of Jesus. They said He couldn't save Himself. Why didn't Jesus save Himself?
  
• Jesus went through pain and loneliness so that you would never have to be alone. How does that make you feel?
  
• Thank Jesus for enduring the cross. Thank God that Jesus' death gave us life. 
  
• Praise God by singing verse 1 of "And Can It Be."
  

And can it be that I should gain an interest in the Savior's blood? Died He for me who caused His pain? For me, who Him to death pursued? Amazing love! How can it be that though my God shouldst die for me? Amazing love, how can it be that thou, my God shouldst die for me?

-Charles Wesley, 1738

Maundy Thursday Family Devotional

The Arrest

Read John 18: 1-11

After Jesus and His disciples finished the Passover Feast, they went to a garden to pray. Judas was one of the disciples, but he had betrayed Jesus. He told the Jewish leaders where Jesus was in exchange for silver. But none of this surprised God. He was in control of all things.

While Jesus and His disciples were in the garden, Judas came with a groups of soldiers and officers. They had torches and weapons. Jesus knew why they were there. He went to them and asked them who they were looking for. They said Jesus. He answered, "I am He." In those three words, Jesus told who He was, but He also told them that He was the only Son of God. It says that when Jesus said those words, the soldiers fell to the ground. Jesus' words were that powerful!

Then Jesus gave himself up. But Peter, His disciple, became scared. He felt out of control. Peter pulled out his sword and cut off the ear of a servant. Jesus immediately stepped forward. In the book of Luke it says He touched the servant's ear, and it grew back. Jesus surrendered himself because He knew the time had come. He knew that His surrender would mean we would be free to know God's love for us.

Together:

• How do you think Jesus felt when He saw Judas and the soldiers?
  
• What would you have thought if you were there?
  
• How do you think Peter and the soldiers felt when they saw Jesus heal the servant's ear?
  
• Thank God for sending us Jesus. Thank Him that Jesus gave Himself up willingly so that we could know God's love for us.
  
• Praise Him by singing verse 1 of "Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing."
  

Come, thou fount of every blessing, tune my heart to sing thy grace; streams of mercy, never ceasing, call for songs of loudest praise. Teach me some melodious sonnet, sung by flaming tongues above; praise the mount! I'm fixed upon it, mount of God's unchanging love.

- Robert Robinson, 1758

Holy Wednesday Family Devotional

The Last Supper

Read Luke 22: 14-23

Once a year the people of God went to Jerusalem to celebrate the feast of Passover. It was a time to remember the ways God had provided for His people. It was a time to remember how God led them out of slavery in Egypt to freedom. This year Jesus wanted to celebrate the feast with His closest friends, His disciples. The disciples were afraid because they knew people wanted to kill Jesus.

But when the time came, Jesus and His disciples sat down at the table together. Jesus knew it was almost time for Him to die, but He also knew His Father was in control of everything. Jesus told that this would be the last time He would share and eat this special meal with them until the Kingdom of God came.

First, Jesus took the bread. He blessed it, broke it, and gave it to them. He said, "This is my body given for you."

Then, He took the cup of wine. He blessed it and gave it to them. He said, "This cup that is poured out for you is the new covenant of My blood."

We still celebrate this feast today. In the church we have communion. The bread and the juice remind us of Jesus' sacrifice. Just like the people of God remembered, we remember the way God led us out of the slavery of sin to freedom in Jesus. And each time we celebrate communion, we remember that Jesus will come again to celebrate this special feast with His people.

Together:

• Do you think Jesus was afraid?
  
• What would it have been like to celebrate this special feast with Jesus?
  
• Have you found freedom in JEsus? If not, talk with your parents about it now.
  
• Thank God for Jesus' sacrifice and that Jesus is returning to celebrate this feast with us again.
  
• Praise God by singing verses 1 and 2 of "Amazing Grace."
  

Amazing grace, how sweet the sound that saved a wretch like me. 

I once was lost, but now I'm found, was blind but now I see. 

When we've been there ten thousand years, bright shining as the sun, 

we've no less days to sing God's praise than when we've first begun.

- John Newton, 1779